Last week Ryan underwent a spinal tap to drain some of the fluid from his brain. This was a test before doing brain surgery. We were hopeful that by reducing some of the fluid, it would release the pressure on the brain causing us to see immediate progression. The spinal tap procedure went well, but unfortunately the outcome was unsuccessful. We did not see the immediate effects giving doctors the sense that brain surgery to drain the fluid would not be worth the risk.
We felt defeated.
Ryan is extremely aggressive, frustrated, and confused. He seems to show this aggression with woman family members and nurses the most, but he does have is episodes with men at times too. Although he loves having visitors, it makes him happy and feels special - usually.
Some days and really great and others are really hard.
Please continue to keep Ryan in your prayers. He needs them so much. We knew this would be a long, hard journey ... but we had no idea how mentally exhausting it would be. As soon as I think about how sad, tired, or hard it is for me - I quickly realize that Ryan is probably feeling 100 times my emotions. This is his life that has changed. Please pray for his understanding and peace within.
Ryan will begin on new medications within the next couple of days. Our hopes are that this will eventually regulate his emotions.
Throughout these trying 11 months, God has not left us. He continues to show us his healing hand and love throughout the days and weeks. Just when we are ready to give-up, or cry, or scream ... Ryan laughs, or smiles, or says/types out a sarcastic joke. During those breif moments, I feel that we are able to breath again... reassuring us that he WILL get better. Those moments allow us to get to "see" Ryan again. God gives us these moments at the perfect timing. I pray that we will continue to see these glimpses of peace more often in the months to continue.